my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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