im drinking this country out of the recession.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
