Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
