I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
