We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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