So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
