grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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