Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
