that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
