maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
