Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
