Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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