I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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