dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
