I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she looked like the before picture.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
