I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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