I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
