the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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