think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
