i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
