ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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