I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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