The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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