i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize