At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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