in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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