he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
