yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
