i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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