Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
