I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
