This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
