he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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