I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
