Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize