How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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