dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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