But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
