I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
