I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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