forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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