yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
