if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
