Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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