If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
