I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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