can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
