The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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