There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
