the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
