Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
