My first STD was from a foam party
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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