STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
