remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize