I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Damn victory sex feels great
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
