She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
