I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
