Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I smell like Dick and happiness
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
