In the future we'll all be gay
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
