and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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