Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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