I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
